


May

by raeofsunshinee



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Drama, Gen, Lots of Angst, Original Character Death(s), and tears, just sadness, ladybug kinda sorta character study, not really - Freeform, sorry - Freeform, this was hard to write gimme a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 22:19:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11366784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raeofsunshinee/pseuds/raeofsunshinee
Summary: Ladybug could've saved her- the little girl who's life had ended that day. But when she saw her partner strangled in the Akuma's rocky hands, she hesitated.Hesitation kills.orThe first ever death by Akuma left Ladybug with the repercussions.





	May

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is my first ever Miraculous Ladybug fic. I've done multiple different fics on sites other than this one and ever since I watched MLB I needed to write a fanfic for it.   
> I actually found this quite difficult to write-Writing Ladybug distraught and so upset was a bit challenging but I hope it came out well.
> 
> Let me know what you think. Thanks, I hope you enjoy :)

May was her name.   
And on May 12th, she died.  
On May 12th marked the first ever death caused by an Akuma attack. 

—

A geologist who had just gotten fired and needed the job for his family. He felt twisted with rage. Face contorted with anger as hot tears started to stream down his face. He didn't seem to notice the dark butterfly fluttering toward him until it was too late.   
Groundhog was his name and the earth was at his command.   
He was dangerous, as anger and rage controlled his emotions. All he inflicted was violence and destruction.

They were jumping from rooftop to rooftop after getting a crowd of tourists to safety, Groundhog hot on their heels.  
"Got a plan?" Ladybug heard her partner call.  
"Not really."   
That's when she saw, a little girl, on the roof of an old apartment complex scrambling after a cat. They were quickly approaching and if the groundhog and his destruction got near it, the whole thing would crumble to the ground and the girl would be under it.  
"Chat! Distract him! I need time, away from here." He followed her gaze to the girl and nodded briefly.  
They split up and she swung over to the building. There she saw the mother crying at her daughter to get down.   
"Ladybug, please! Help my daughter! She's on the roof, we were just leaving and I thought she was right behind me—“  
"It's alright, I will get her."

And she really did try. But when she saw Chat gripped tightly in the fist of Groundhog, she let her guard down for a moment. And the building came crumbling down.   
Ladybug secured her yo-yo around the girl's tiny body, but it was too late.   
And although the Miraculous Ladybug fixes destruction, it cannot bring back the dead.

—

They held a state funeral for her, and a week after that there was a press conference.   
"You don't have to go." She heard a voice, whom she instantly recognised.  
"Of course I have to go! Because if it weren't for me she wouldn't be dead!" She turned to face him. He took a stride toward her.   
"That's not true and you know it." He replied sternly.  
She released a bitter bark of laughter.   
"If I had caught her in time she would still be alive." Ladybug's voice dropped dangerously low. Chat Noir could see faint stains of tears on her cheeks, and the distinct redness of her eyes. He had never seen her look so vulnerable.   
"I'm going. This is my fault and I have to face the repercussions." She used the back of her hand to erase the tears that threatened to spill, and made her way toward the courthouse that held the conference.   
As always, he wasn't far behind. 

 

Cameras, microphones, and lights were sent toward her and Chat could see that anxiety had begun to stipple across her face.   
They stood side by side and as she cleared her throat to begin, silence echoed throughout the room. Journalists and locals sat in front of them and hands shot into the air. Ladybug felt her chest tighten and breath quicken. It all came to a slow when a light hand gripped at hers. He gave her a small, encouraging smile and only said  
"You can do this. We can do this."  
She began to answer the questions of the city, and it seemed to be going okay. That was until she received a question that she had been asking herself.   
"You killed her, didn't you?"  
She froze, her breath hitched and the room seemed to be getting smaller.   
It was the mother.   
Elaina Durand.  
"She didn't kill her!“ Chat Noir angrily spurted.  
"You saw her struggling, and you did nothing to help!" Elaina continued.   
"My baby girl, the only thing I have in the world.” Her voice cracked with a sob  
"She's gone." She paused to catch her breath.  
"And it's your fault."  
Ladybug's face was frozen. A look of horror passed and her breaths quickened. The room became smaller once again and she couldn't escape it.   
"That's it." She heard Chat say under his breath as the people of Paris erupted, their voices overwhelming in the room.   
"No further questions." He was stern and had a look that could kill. He placed his hand gently on her back as he led her out of the room. 

But she could only hear the words she dreaded to be true. 

—

Ladybug's fault?   
Killer or hero?

"...the hero is in a state of demise, since the death of 8-year-old, May Durand....."

"....it is absolutely absurd to think that Ladybug is a killer. She is nothing but a hero, a role model to the people of Paris- to the world...."

"...as it may have seemed she was.. distracted, she is just like all of us. Chat Noir and Ladybug are heroes but are also only human. There is an extent of what one person can do, even if they are superheroes....."

"...look, she's obviously in a rough spot now. She seemed panicked and distraught and she isn't in the right head space. But as a superhero, she needs to be switched on at all times so that these things do not happen. It might not be her fault, but she could've prevented it...."

 

—

 

It was the first Akuma attack after May Durand's death and the longest amount of time between attacks.   
2 weeks.  
It was an easy villain.   
And as soon as everything was restored, the people came running.  
"Ladybug! Was it your fault?"  
"Ladybug! Is there anything you'd like to say after you fled from the press?"  
Beep, beep, beep  
The sound rung in her ear.   
4 minutes.   
"My lady?" Chat Noir's voice was distant as she stared at the paparazzi.   
"You don't have to say anything. I know you're going to anyways but just know that I'm here." His gentle smile as he reached for her shoulder in a touch of support.   
A tilt of her lips let him know she appreciated it.   
Deep breaths.  
Just face the crowd.  
"There are some things I would like to say." Her voice rung out as silence settled amongst the crowd. She tried to start confidently, but the small grasp she had on confidence was slipping with each second.   
"I'm sorry." She had become small again, as her breathing shuddered and her eyes damp.  
"I... I'm sorry. I tried everything I could, but I know that will never be enough. It can never undo what has been done and.. I'm s-sorry." Her voice cracked. Her façade was slipping, as well as the tears that dribbled slowly down her face.   
Deep breaths.  
"I'll never be able to forgive myself for the events of that day even if it, maybe wasn't my fault." It came out more as a question than a statement.  
"All I can say is that I'm sorry. It is my duty to this city and to the people--to you, that I protect everything and everyone. It's our job as heroes and I have failed. My heart aches for the beautiful little girl who's life was lost that day. If I could go back I would do it a thousand times again, just so she could be safe." Her voice had escalated, tears had begun to fall more freely and the reel she had on her emotions was no more.   
"S-safe... In her mother's arms." That had been the breaking point. Sobs clearly racked her body; shoulders curling in on herself, a hand coming up to her face. Her cries filled the air. The stillness of the crowd was unsettling. Chat Noir saw tears stain the faces of the crowd.   
He also realised in that moment, he had never seen Ladybug cry before.   
Chat wrapped his arms around her, enveloping Ladybug's petite frame in his warmth. He felt her arms snake around his lower back as she sunk into his chest. Chat Noir focused his gaze back to the paparazzi of cameras and people.   
"Thank you." He said simply and helped Ladybug up to their favorite rooftop.

 

 

Their limbs were tangled, her face was buried in his chest, his chin fit perfectly in the nook of her shoulder and her eyes began to grow heavy.  
"Chat?"  
"Lady?"  
"I'm tired."  
He lifted his gaze to look down at her.   
"Time for bed? I can take you a few streets from your house. We can get more food if you need to recharge again."  
"That's not what I meant."  
A pause.  
"Oh."  
"Is it my fault? I've been trying to convince myself otherwise after I saw her mother. Trying to find some way to not blame myself, even though I had really already made up my mind."   
"It is not your fault, Ladybug." He said with the utmost certainty. She lifted her face so that her bluebell eyes penetrated his vision. She just sighed.   
"I'm tired. I'm tired of this constant fight, even though it is only with myself."   
"Listen to me; it is not your fault. You should not assign blame like this! If it's anyone's it's Papillon's!" Ladybug removed herself from Chat's protective warmth, stood up and faced the night skyline of Paris.   
"Well. Papillon and I don't have too much of a difference between us now, do we? We both terrorise the people of Paris!"  
"That is not true and you know it!" They were shouting at each other, the heroes of Paris.   
She scoffed in reply and turned to face him.   
"No, Chat! I was distracted, and if I hadn't been emotionally vulnerable then none of this would have happened!"  
"Emotionally vulnerable?!"  
Hands and accusations were flying through the air.  
"Yes! Because I saw you in the Akuma's hands! You were too far from my reach and...." She stopped herself.   
"If this is what I'm like with a stranger.... How could I ever lose you too?" Ladybug panted, never breaking the stare the two were sharing. But after a moment of silence, she did. Ladybug wrapped her yo-yo around a nearby light pole and swung out into the night. 

 

—

 

They had made a mural for her on the wooden bench outside the complex.   
She visited that mural regularly and laid flowers.   
But this was the first that Ladybug had visited.   
She stood, motionless, gazing at what should not have been. Tears threatened to spill at what seemed the millionth time since the girl's death.   
The mural was silent, but screaming colour with the hundreds of bouquet's planted on top of each other. Ladybug stared. She stood in the middle of the road, the darkness of the night enveloping her. Soon, she saw a small figure emerge from the complex.   
It was Elaina Durand.  
She turned to leave.  
The woman had a thick cardigan wrapped tightly around her body. She looked weary and old.   
Elaina just stared at the young hero as she detached the yo-yo from her hip until she spoke.  
"I'm sorry, Ladybug."  
"W-what?"  
"It was not right of me to blame you like that. It was not your fault."  
Silence.   
The mother sat on the curb of the street beside the colourful arrangement.   
"Seeing you like that today... It reminded me that you are only human, only a young girl." Ladybug stood frozen watching Elaina as she gently tended to the flowers.   
"You did everything a human could have possibly done and more. Thank you." She glanced upward. Ladybug could see the tears on her face glint in the shining glow of the night.  
Ladybug just nodded afraid that she might cry too, and become one with the nightfall.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not know how to put italics on for HTML. lol  
> Let me know if you like this ?


End file.
